A while ago I said that I would tell a little more about my teaching adventures at Portland Alternative Education and that is exactly what is on my mind tonight. I'm sitting here listening to the soundtrack from Swan Lake (thanks to my sister Hanna's suggestion), thinking about my students and what God's plan is for me there.
So as I said in my first post, I have been unbelievably blessed with a part-time teaching position at Portland Alternative Education. I teach math 2 days a week for 2 periods. Here, let me explain a little bit about the school so all of this makes sense.
This is an alternative school, but students receive a high school diploma just the same as at a regular high school. It's a second chance for kids who couldn't handle the high school for some reason. Our schedule consists of 2 hr M-W and T-Th classes and 3 hr Friday class. Each day students have 3 classes. We also work in quarters (8 weeks long) and students earn quarter credits towards graduation.
Every student that comes into the school is at a different place credit-wise, therefor my classroom is NOT a traditional classroom at all. Each student has a list of assignments that they must complete in order to get credit and works on their own. I am there as a "facilitator" (more like a baby-sitter at times) and to help/teach when they need it.
This is a very different situation from what I was prepared for in school. While I'm all about non-traditional ways of teaching students, this is at times beyond me and over my head. At times, we are simply trying to keep our head above water with these students. So, from an academic standpoint, I am being pushed and stretched beyond what I thought I could be when it comes to teaching.
And, as anyone in education knows, teaching is all about the students. And students are people. And people are never static.
My students are a rough crowd. Students don't come to alternative school for no reason. Some of my students I can tell why they are here, and others, I am not sure. Either way, they are my students. This is where God is teaching me a HUGE lesson. I'll sum it up like this.
Loving those who love you is the easy task. Loving those who don't is the hard one.
The students I have are hurting, broken souls. These are kids who have poor parental influence or adult mentor-ship. They don't know what it looks like to be a responsible person in society. But most importantly, these kids don't know what love is. All of this makes my students very hard to love.
This is where God is moving and speaking to me. One day, a couple weeks into school, I was sitting helping a young lady in my classroom, let's call her Sally. She is a student who is always frustrated, is always on her cell phone, is easily irritated, especially when working on math. On this day, I was trying to explain a concept to her and she got flustered and put her head down. I started to get frustrated with her and in my head got quite upset. As I was sitting there steaming with anger in my head, I heard God whisper to me. This is the message He had for me:
"Emily, Sally is my hurt and broken daughter, just as you are my daughter. I love her right now as she is and I am calling you to do the same. Love this child of mine, as I have loved you."
Even remembering it now gives me chills and puts tears in my eyes. It was such a humbling experience. God called me in that moment to do exactly as He has done. While I always felt as if I was a loving person, in that moment God challenged me in my thinking. Am I really loving, or do I just love those who are easy to love, those who love me in return? Do I really understand what Jesus says is the greatest commandment? Or what he tells his disciples?
Matthew 22:36-40
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
John 13: 34-35
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
These are the words that God continues to lie on my heart while I am at school. At times I feel completely useless and ineffective as a teacher and these are the moments God reminds me that I am NOT in control but He is. My all-loving, all-powerful God, who loves so unconditionally I scarce can take it in.
I'll end tonight with the words of Rich Mullins:
"Our God is an awesome God.
He reigns from heaven above.
With wisdom, power and LOVE.
Our God is an awesome God."
love, peace and blessings on this Tuesday evening,
Shmem
P.S. Did any of you see the Northern Lights last night? Here's a few photos that we took...enjoy!
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| Our Northern Lights watching party :) |
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| The best picture we could get, see the Red in the sky? God paints a pretty sweet pictures in the night sky! |
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